Matthew-In-The-Box

Congratulations and thank you to Cousins Delivered, Muscles, and Payton for being the first to get a birthday gift to me. They mailed me a "birthday box" full of loot because they can't come to my party. Cousin Payton is probably going on some baby modeling tour or something. Anyway, Mommy and Daddy let me open the box even though it's not my birthday. My cousins sent me, among other awesome things, a singing Elmo card that makes me smile and dance and the shamrock headgear you see in the picture above. I'd especially like to thank my cousins for all the shamrock confetti that was inside the box and then all over the floor and under the furniture. That should keep Mommy, Daddy and the vacuum busy for about a month. I wonder how the confetti would interact with a baby's digestive system. I bet they taste minty. Were they made in China?

I also received another box with a gift inside last night. The friends who sent it don't read the blog so no blog thank you is necessary. This was a big box, much bigger than its contents. I can't even remember what was inside. The box, however, will act as host to hours of fun.

This morning, like every morning, I sat down to break my nighttime fast. But, this breakfast was served differently. My personal chef made a smiley face with my food and put it on, get this, a plate! I've been waiting a long time for this. The Cleanup Crew (Onyx) was licking his chops.

I hope you had a wonderful birthday yesterday, Greatest. We tried to call you last night but we couldn't get through. You must be very popular. We love you and Happy Birthday!

Have a great weekend!

Keeping Up Appearances

My publicist has a couple big appearances scheduled for me this afternoon.  First, I'll hit up story time and then it's over to a friend's house for playgroup.  If you've been following my posts the last few days, you may have noticed that my clothing selections for each day were questionable, incomplete, or altogether missing.  Fortunately, Mommy dressed me this morning and I'm back to my old dapper self.  I couldn't show up to story time or playgroup only partially wearing clothes.  That, and though it's probably the unofficial request, I certainly can't show up naked.  Even if I wanted to I don't think I'd be able to fight off the girls and I've got to to protect my "equipment."

I asked Daddy to be my driver today.  He said he'd do it but I had to make sure he wasn't too sick.  I gave him my serious face asking, "You sure Daddy?  I don't want a whining wimp driving me around all day."  He knows not to mess with me.  Just look at how serious I can get when questioning someone:

Then I figured I could just leave him in the car or I could drive myself in my rough and rugged John Deere ATV.  Either way is cool with me.

So how do I look?

You are right- I look great... except for the hair.  It's always something.  I'll have to flatten the hair that's sticking out by laying on it during my morning nap.  On the other hand, I can just wear a hat like the one I wore yesterday.

You are right again!  I look great no matter what I'm wearing.  Thanks for helping me out.

Have a splendid Thursday.

For A Limited Time Only

March 12th will be a sad day for all you ladies out there, particularly for my aunts and grandmothers. That's the day after my birthday and the day when "certain" images and videos that I post on this blog will no longer be allowed. The cutoff for legality is apparently one-year-old for publishing my sweet little bod on the Internet. I plan to wear my birthday suit for myself on the 11th. That day falls in a gray area category. After that, if you want a look at my "want to squeeze and check for ripeness" peaches on the World Wide Web, you're going to have to wait until I'm 18 and probably pay some sort of subscription fee. I understand your frustration. But, the truth is I'm going to have to side with the law in this case. Sure, I'll find humorous ways around such regulations. For the meantime, though, I suggest you watch 'em while the gettin' is good and legal.

Mmmm, not only do I look good, but I taste good too.

Have a wonderful day. And once again, ladies: you're welcome.

Videographer Wanted

Here is today's lead picture:

You may be wondering why the photographer didn't take a full body shot.  Well, he did.  The picture had to be edited.  I'll tell you why later.  First, I want you to look at my face.  Looks like I'm feeling better, doesn't it.  There's not as much snot running down, my eyes aren't as puffy, and I'm eating much better, which is allowing that cheek pinchableness to return.  It's great to be feeling better again.  I'm ready to take on the world.  It wasn't easy getting healthy.  My body kept fighting and fighting, a week-long battle that just didn't seem to be working.  That's when I realized, hey, if I can't beat this thing then I might as well just pass it on.  But who would be my target?  Mommy?  No way.  I wouldn't do that to Mommy.  Daddy?  Yes, Daddy.  I'm learning that every decision comes with its consequences.  With Daddy on the sidelines, I had to dress myself today.  I did okay, but not good enough for the lead picture.  It's difficult to get both arms in a sweater and snap those three little buttons on an onsie, particularly when I'm preoccupied with anything else.  Mommy and Daddy are right- it's tough to change me when I'm constantly trying to roll over and kick my way out of my changing situation.  Here's the original picture:

I had more decisions to make while getting myself dressed.  One involved whether I should wear my hat today.  I couldn't make up my mind.  Not being able to get the darn thing on made the decision for me.  I then told the videographer to help me get dressed.

The videographer told me, "Sorry, but no.  That's not in my job description."  He doesn't work for me anymore.  Finally, I told Daddy to suck it up, stop whining, and help me change.  I offered him my snot rag.  He declined the rag but did finish changing me.  In return, he wants me to do some laundry and take out the garbage while he lies on the couch.  I said I'd think about it.  First, however, I need a nap.  Changing myself is exhausting.  Good-nap!

March Madness

If you turned your calendar to March today, you should notice that the little box with '11' in it has been starred, asterisked, and filled with exclamation points with a note saying that it's "Matthew's Birthday." Your corresponding to do calendar for that same date should also include a note such as, "Buy big present." I hope that you remembered to write those notes. Otherwise, there's no time like the present.

The countdown begins. I'm feeling better and ready to take on all that March has to offer me. I began the festivities yesterday by watching Cousin Sage dance a jig in an Irish Green Beer Parade. The picture below is not a bear. It's really a picture of me, Matthew, taken while I was riding in my pack on Daddy's back, listening to bagpipes, and looking at all the people in the crowd. These people look similar to me: pale, blue eyes, some with a touch of red hair, but none quite as strikingly handsome. One thing is for sure, however, that a little sun wouldn't hurt any of us.

So, there's a lot to do to get ready the big day. Actually, I don't have to do anything. I'll leave that up to Mommy and Daddy. This should be my biggest day yet. I mean, Christmas was great with all the presents and all but I was a lot younger then and the birthday party was for some other dude that I don't even know yet. This time it's all about me. Me, me, me.

As I said, I'm expecting Mommy and Daddy to devote most of their next 10 days to planning my party. I'll just hang out with and play with Onyx so I can stay out of the way. I hope he's up for it. This morning I asked him to help me with my ring game. We played for a bit, I petted him, and then he went off to sleep somewhere.

Where did that dog go?

Oh, and I'm sorry I missed you this morning, Mommy. You wore me out with fun this weekend and so some extra sleep was necessary. It's okay that you made coffee without me. I understand. Have a good day. I love you!