Criss Cross, Apple Sauce

It's time to visit Cousin Payton! Get in- I'm driving. Mommy, you should sit up front with me. We don't want you spitting up in the back seat. Hold on tight. Wait, how do I start this jalopy? Onyx, do you mind working the pedals for me? Thanks.

That's right; we're off to see my new baby cousin. We've had a couple of weekends at home to refresh and I've had a wonderful routine sleep schedule in place for almost two weeks. That's certainly a record. Note to self: Change sleeping habit on Monday and without warning.

This trip is long overdue. We should have visited Cousin Payton when she was born. I could have helped and been Payton's labor coach. Hey, I've done this more recently than any of you. I'm practically an expert. I might as well use my skills before infant amnesia cancels out all my "traumatic" memories. We babies have to do some work with the whole delivery process too. Here's what I would have said to Payton:

"First, smoosh your head to one-half its size. Good. Now shrug your right shoulder. No, the other right shoulder. Now fight the muscles pushing you out for as long as you can...you want to make this interesting, trust me. Okay, a little Criss Cross, Applesauce. Cool breeze, tight squeeze, now you've got the shivers!"

I like that ‘Criss Cross, Applesauce’ song. I knew story time would come in handy. Being born is a piece of cake.

Have a great weekend!