Will You Marry Me, Aunt Bethy?

Wait... what?  He did?  She said, "Yes"?  BLASTED!!!  It appears that "Uncle" C. beat me to it.  I guess I'm one day and a giant rock-on-a-ring short.  Oh well.  At least I'm getting another awesome uncle, an uncle who has the power and money to obtain an impressive and giant rock-on-a-ring. 

Dear Uncle C., now that I'm going to officially be your nephew, will you buy me an airplane and a horse?  Thanks.  And don't worry Uncle C., I didn't really want to marry my Aunt Bethy.  Why would I marry the girl when I can have my "awesome" aunt for free?  Besides, it would be way too weird and I'm not going to have any trouble getting girls to like me when I strut around with my good looks, airplane, and horse.  So anyway, Uncle C., congratulations.  I look forward to learning many important things from you, just like the super-cool fist bump you taught me.

To you, Aunt Bethy- congratulations.  You are the best, deserve the best, and you're getting it.  And thanks for waiting for me to be born and learn to walk because now I'm fully ready and able to join the party.  I'm very excited about your wedding day.  I'm so excited in fact, that I've already picked out my attire for the special day.  I think my little Irishman outfit is very appropriate.  Perhaps I could be the centerpiece at your reception table.  You go ahead, think about it, and let me know.  It's whatever you want, Aunt Bethy.

Oh, and Aunt Bethy, look at what I learned to do this morning! Maybe it's better if I'm not allowed on the tables at your wedding reception.