Mommy's Little Superhero

Do you see the awesome shiner I have near my eye?  I obtained it last night while attempting to leap onto an 80-count diaper box in a single bound.  I already have bruises on my shins and knees.  These markings of a true tough guy are only the beginning.  I'll soon be walking on a regular basis, allowing me to enter a new world of discovery and bruising.  Last night Mommy dressed me in dinosaur superhero pajamas and now I feel like a superhero myself.  Unfortunately, there wasn't much action this morning and no one needed saving.  I was ready for anything anyway, donning my cape and ready to walk, fly, and pounce on whatever stood in the way of justice.

Sorry I missed you this morning, Mommy, but we superheroes do need some extra sleep sometimes.  I love you, Mommy.  Have a great day and don't let anyone push you around.  If they do, you know who to call.

My First Steps

And as promised: the theatrical version...

Personal Day

I'm taking the day off today. Mommy is not working and I typically tailor my schedule to follow hers. Besides, I've got some recovering to do after a typical, sleep and routine altering weekend. I plan to just sit back, enjoy my bottle, and take a little siesta. Enjoy your Monday.

30

Good day, Mommy.  I'm warming up your birthday seat for you.  The sign is up and we will be ready to take your picture underneath it on Sunday when it's your birthday.  I can't believe you're about to have your 30th birthday celebration.  I've only been through one myself and I'm still recovering from it.  I was planning to make you a train cake as you did for my birthday, but Daddy said trains aren't your "thing" like they are for a little boy and that I'd have to make a really long train just to hold all those candles.

I know you're not looking forward to the end of your 20's.  Perhaps I can help stall 30 from coming so fast.  Between Onyx and I, I'm willing to bet that we can scare off the Great Birthday Bird.  Onyx has a mean bark and I have a mean bite (as illustrated by the bloody marks I've been leaving on your and Daddy's shoulders).  Now, let me see what I can do with 30.

I don't know, Mommy.  Thirty is coming to get you and my efforts to stop it appear to be futile.  I tried to eat 30 but Daddy wouldn't let me.  Don't worry though- 30's just a number.  Maybe if we pretend that 30 is not around it will go away.  I think that's a great idea if I do say so myself.  I'll start the ignorance by taking the sign down.

We're still going to have a lot of fun on Sunday, Mommy.  I can't wait.  So, you and everyone else...

Have a great weekend!

200

Welcome to my 200th blog post! I'm glad you could join me. In today's episode, I attempt to fly:

Blasted! Why can't I get off the floor? I don't know what happened. I should be flying and swooping all around town right now. Instead, I'm stuck with all of you regular folk (no offense) here on the ground. I've been double and triple checking my calculations for months. This should have worked. Wait a minute... I just realized I plugged my weight in as less than 20 pounds and yesterday I weighed in at 20 pounds, 10 ounces at the doctor. How could I make such a silly mistake and not realize how quickly I'm getting to be a big boy? Well, it's back to the drawing board.

My doctor appointment went very well yesterday except for those two shots they gave me. I am 29-3/4 inches in height. That's right: I'm one-quarter of an inch short of 30 inches, a mark that every baby and toddler aims for. It's a little frustrating. I mean, I'm not short, but I'd like to be able to say to the girls at story time, "Hey, notice anything different? That's right, I'm 30 inches tall." Then they'll "goo" and "ga" and I'll have more girls to kiss. Hmmm... I wonder if I can pick up some elevated shoes on our way to the library. It's worth a try.

[CENSORED] Suit for Cousin Sarah

Happy Birthday, Cousin Sarah.  I'm wearing my best "outfit" just for you.  Luckily you gave me a star-projection turtle that doubles as a "sensitive material" cover.  By "sensitive material," I mean the parts that make a photograph of someone my age illegal on the Internet.  Do you understand what I mean even with all this "quotation" stuff?  Of course you do.  We have to use the turtle because I don't want my production crew running into trouble with the law for what could and should be a harmless photo of a handsome one-year-old coincidentally displaying his manhood-defining features.

Speaking of my manhood features, I'm sure the doctor will take a look at them and the rest of me for my one-year visit today.  I'm curious as to my current height and weight.  I've been eating so much lately in preparation for increasing these measurements.  What else might the doctor notice?  Well... I have six teeth now so I've got that going for me.  I had zero teeth showing at my nine-month appointment.  What else... oh yeah, I'm now walking while holding onto only one of Mommy or Daddy's hands.  Actually, I'm kind of taking some steps on my own between Mommy and Daddy.  We'd film this and show you but we fear that in this age of instant replay, all of you, who also happen to be my critics, may watch and rewind until you disagree with what I and my parents think are my first steps.  When I'm walking totally on my own, and there's no mistaking that it's technically walking, I'll be sure to let you know.  I mean c'mon, it'll be such big news that my videographer and video editor will probably have the whole thing in slow motion and to the soundtrack of Chariots of Fire.

Okay, I had better go catch a nap.  I want to get as much quality growing time in as possible before the big weigh-in.  Wish me luck at the doctor and wish my Cousin Sarah a happy 25th birthday.

It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Matthew

No stunt double needed here.  I'm thinking I may just skip this walking thing and go right to flying.  That is the next step, is it not?  Believe it or not, I learned this on Mommy's watch- no joke.  She read me a story about how Grover from Sesame Street became Super Grover.  This reading inspired me.

A couple of thank yous are necessary in making my new flying lessons possible.  First, I'd like to thank you, Great Aunt Susan, for the toddler-launching chair you made me.  Second, Mommy would like to thank Great Aunt Sue, Great Uncle R., and Cousin Sarah for the soft landing-pad bear.  These were the intentions of your gifts, right?

Sunday Dinner

Sunday dinners are fun.  They're a nice way to close out the weekend and it's my last chance to be silly, get messy, and express myself "weekend-style" before a week of seriousness begins.  Then again, especially if served spaghetti, I can get silly and messy any day and time of the week.

Hello?  Mommy?  This is Matthew.  I thought I'd call even though you're right in front of me.  Anyway, I know it's easier for everyone if Onyx cleans me up, but do you think I can take a bath instead?  Just this once?  C'mon- it'll be fun... c'mon.  Besides, didn't you see what Onyx was eating outside, buried under that pile of leaves and melting snow?

The Very Hungry Matthew

I've been very hungry lately and eating a ton.  Some of my meals have taken up to an hour to finish.  Mommy and Daddy put the food on my tray and I eat it.  Our cabinets must be near empty because my parents scramble around the kitchen trying to find something to feed me when I've been eating for 45 minutes and yet still demand more.  They even used green food coloring as filler in my oatmeal on Wednesday.  Yes, I ate green oatmeal.  It tastes just like regular oatmeal.  What have I been eating you ask?  Let's take yesterday for instance.  I ate through an entire piece of French toast, half a container of yogurt, 1/4 of a mango, 1/6 of an apple, some turkey, a couple bites of Daddy's pizza, three different kinds of crackers, two strawberries, broccoli, chicken, and one giant meatball.  There was more but I can't remember.  I'm eating all of this in hopes of becoming a beautiful butterf- no wait... I don't want to be a butterfly.  I apologize, Eric Carle, because I've taken this too far already.  Please don't sue me.  Seriously, I'm hoping to put some pounds and ounces on for my 12-month weigh-in next week at the doctor.  I've also been sleeping great so hopefully I'm going through a growth spurt.  Once again, however, there are consequences to my actions.  What goes in must manifest itself in some form or another.  Everything's been running smoothly until today when I spent 45 minutes after breakfast doing "my thing."  I don't think the production equaled the effort.  There's more- I just know it.  I was pretty ticked during and now I'm exhausted from all that pushing.  It must have been something I ate but I'm not going to attempt to narrow it down.  There has to be an easier way than spending 45 minutes in slight agony.  Of course, this rarely happens and maybe it's just a baby thing, but I'd like to know what's going on inside me.  Perhaps playing with this ball machine can help me better understand the human digestive tract.  It's worth a try.

I'm not sure if I got anything from that.  I do enjoy watching the balls fly up in the air due to a build-up of backpressure.  That must be the key.  Well... back to work!

Have a great weekend!

My Tournament Pick

Today is the start of the NCAA men's basketball tournament.  Daddy and I had planned to watch every minute of every game.  Unfortunately, we scheduled story time and play group this afternoon.  To be honest I'm okay with that.  I can always skip school to watch the first round when I'm older.

I'm sure you college basketball experts out there are reading my blog this morning and wondering whom my picks are, hoping to get a little advice in filling out your bracket.  My favorite team is Syracuse and I'd love to see them win it all.  However, let's be realistic here.  Syracuse may be a number one seed but I think 16 seed Vermont is going all the way.  It's a long shot, but I like Vermont's hard work and determination.  Both teams play each other in the first round so I'll know by Saturday morning (the start of the game is two hours past my bedtime) if I'm on to something in picking Vermont.  For now, I'm going to work on my own game.

I asked Onyx if he wanted to play.  He would have if he were actually allowed to play with those particular balls.  He knows better not to.  I love to tease him like that.

We're glad to hear you're back at home, Great.  I hope you can relax and watch some of the tournament.  I'm sorry that the Connecticut boys did not even make the tournament, but let's face it: they stink.

Lá Fhéile Pádraig

This is my second St. Patrick's Day.  This little fiery-red Irishman is me on my first St. Patrick's Day.  I've changed just a little bit don't you think?

I was only six days old for last year's celebration so I don't think I did too much celebrating.  This year I plan to watch Cousin Sage do some Irish step dancing at her school.  She'll then dance at other schools, nursing homes, and on top of bars at adult beverage establishments.  I may not have all of my information correct regarding where she is dancing but I doubt I'm too far off.  Regardless, I won't be following her around all day, as this would interrupt my nap and feeding times.

As you can see I'm wearing green today, which is ironic because blue was the original color associated with St. Patrick.  Mommy picked out this outfit for me to wear today.  She didn't lay any pants out so I'm guess I'm going pants-less.  Considering the soon-to-be condition of my fellow but older Irishman today I don't think anyone will notice.

Have yourself a wonderful and safe St. Patrick's Day.  When saying your goodbye's tonight be sure to show your Irish spirit and give others a good hug, pat them on the back, and blow them a kiss goodbye.

Happy Belated Birthday, Little Brother

Uh-oh!   I just remembered: we forgot my "little" twin brother's birthday!  If you don't remember or haven't seen my twin brother then click here: Twins.  I'm assuming he's younger than I am because Mommy and Daddy probably decided to send the second born twin, the weakest and most pushing-over-the-edge financially baby, to the basement to live and not the first-born.  I fought my way out of Mommy's tummy first proving that I had more will and strength.  My twin came in second and as Daddy always says, "second place is the first loser."  I think this is how natural selection works.  Anyway, that doesn't mean we shouldn't wish him happy a birthday.  Again, I'll attempt to get him out of the floor boards.

I still can't get him out.  I asked Onyx for help but the last thing that dog wants is another Matthew walking around.  You know, I think it would only be fair to have another four-day weekend birthday bash for my little brother.  Everyone, please, just do exactly what you did for me.  Places people!  Mommy, are you ready to whip up those cakes again?

My First Birthday In Review

You too would look and feel like this after a four-day birthday weekend and daylight savings change.  I was so exhausted at this point that Mommy and Daddy had to clap my hands for me.  To tell you the truth I'm actually sound asleep.  Luckily, none of our party guests figured it out.

It was a grand birthday party weekend celebration.  Mommy stayed up late on my birthday and baked an awesome train cake.  My three-hour nap the next day allowed her just enough time to put it together and add the finishing touches.  Nice work, Mommy!  However, she wasn't done.  She then made cupcakes for my party on Saturday.  The train cake and cupcakes tasted great and were enjoyed by all.  The sugar rush was my favorite result.

I did a lot of entertaining the entire weekend.  Cousin Yvette joined my show on Friday and we made everyone laugh with our clapping and "how big are you" demonstrations.  I think we should take our show on the road.  We make a great team.

I also received many great toys from everyone.  I'll see that my personal assistant gets to work on the thank you cards ASAP.  During my parties, I played with my new toys and the boxes they came in.  My plan for the next two days is to turn off my cell phone, stay home, adjust to the time change and catch up on hours of lost sleep, and focus on playing with my toys. 

If I don't get some sleep and food with less sugar in it, I'm going to keep looking like I did yesterday before we left from Nana and Gramp's. 

My Aunt Bethy has quite the cozy shoulder for an exhausted little boy.  I could have stayed there for hours.

Thanks again to everyone for making my first birthday so special.  Fortunately, you have all year to prepare for my next birthday.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some serious sleeping to do.  Good-nap.

My First Kiss

What an awesome birthday I had yesterday.  It was a beautiful day, Mommy and Daddy were both home, and I received some great toys.  Don't I look like such a big boy on my Trike?  If only my legs were longer, I could take off the rocking portion for "little ones" and go cruising for chicks.  I'll just have to stick to my walker and wagon.  They don't have that cool, independent image going for them but I have the looks to make up for it.

It was fun having both Mommy and Daddy take me to cuddle time (or story time).  I had a hard time focusing though, as I wished to be outside or opening more gifts.  I squirmed and yelled as Mommy attempted to keep me tame while the librarian tried to hold my attention.  That's when I saw her, a sweet little 10 1/2-month-old girl and the newest object of my affection.  I stopped squirming and focused, approaching her smoothly and calmly.  We looked in each other's eyes for a moment and then locked lips, fate taking over.  I gave her three of my best smooches.  She captured my heart.  I then told her I had my Fisher-Price Rock, Roll 'n Ride Trike out in the parking lot, that we could have our own cuddle time there, and that I had no problem with ignoring the "Never allow more than one rider" warning label.  I had to show her my "bad" side, you know.  She pretended not to hear me, kept playing with her toy, and I got the point.  That's fine with me if she wants to be that way.  I guess that's the way with these younger, 10 1/2-month-old girls.  Suddenly, her twin brother approached me.  I forgot I had done all of this right in front of her brother and mother!  I had to think fast.  So I attempted to kiss him.  He backed away.  My quick thinking worked.  My kissing with the girl was done and I've moved on (for the most part).  I'm too young for a commitment right now anyway.  Nevertheless, the rest of that afternoon I was in a warm, foggy state of mind.  I laid back in my wagon and just watched the clouds roll by thinking about my first kiss.  I could have laid there for hours.

After my nap and a trip to the grocery story, Mommy and Daddy took me out to dinner at the local hot spot.  I ate like a champion: oyster crackers, grilled cheese, applesauce, and a little haddock.  Then we went home and Mommy presented me with a cupcake that had "hot" fire on a candle on top.  The cupcake was little in size but not so little on sugar.  Boy was it good.

The rest of the night was a sugar-induced blur.  I went to bed late and I didn't sleep great.  I didn't sleep too badly either.  I awoke this morning realizing that I still have a whole birthday weekend ahead of me and two more parties.  Parties usually mean gifts for me.  From my crib, I summoned my parents.  Daddy and Onyx opened the door and I was clapping as they walked in.  I clapped for them, for myself, and for the wonderful day and weekend to be.

Have a great weekend!

One Year

Happy Birthday to Me.  Twelve months- wow!  I went to bed last night an infant and woke up this morning a toddler.  When I did wake up the Great Birthday Bird did not greet me.  Instead, the Great Birthday Onyx came in my room.  He seemed more interested in receiving his own breakfast than concerning himself with my birthday.  Oh well.  Maybe I have to be at least two or three years old before I can just leave the house and fly around with some giant bird.

My birthday day has just begun so I don't have much to say about it right now.  I'll attempt to fill you in tomorrow with today's details and pictures.  For now, I've put together a little video that looks back at my first year.  Be sure to turn up the volume.  I hope you enjoy dancing to the music as much as I do.  What will the next year bring?  You'll have to stay tuned to find out.

Before I go, I'd like to thank you, Mommy, for making this all possible and for being the biggest reason that I'm the happiest little big birthday boy in the world.

How to Get Results

Several hours from now and one year ago, I began requesting permission to leave Mommy's tummy. I lightly and politely knocked on the "walls," so to speak, and said with a sweet smile on my face, "Hi. It's me... I don't have a name yet. I'm the baby. Anyway... ummm... I think I'm ready to come out now."


No one seemed to hear me. That's when I realized I needed to be a little more forceful with my request. Over the next few hours, I gradually increased my knocking. Then, over the next 24 hours, I was reduced to savagely kicking, pushing, poking... I think you get the idea and know that my efforts were eventually successful.

Speaking of my mommy, Mommy, I'm really excited because she's taking off from work for the next two days. I get to spend my entire birthday with her! I can't wait to show her off at story time tomorrow. Mommy is kind of like a rock star around here. Daddy, Onyx, and I follow her around like a bunch of star-struck fans. Everything just feels better and right when she's around. To borrow my buddy Nolan's phrase, I really "like and love" her. I love and miss her so much in fact, that my recent separation anxiety from her in the middle of the night prompts me to call her. I can't help it. Sure, the last few nights have been a little rough but I catch up on my sleep during the day. Last night I woke up at around 3 AM and requested her presence. Of course, I've learned from even before I was born to put some effort in this request if I want results. We fell asleep again at about 5:30 AM. That's what I call getting results. The baby books all say I should only keep this up for another few weeks. Regardless, it feels good: it's kind of as if the ol' newborn days are here again.

Yesterday I had my first real taste of spring (I don't really remember spring too well from last year). Daddy and I went outside to play. We stayed on the driveway because everything else is still covered in mud and snow. For the first time I really felt like a boy and even got my jeans dirty. It was awesome! Daddy and I brought my John Deere wagon out of the garage and I did a thorough inspection to make sure it is ready and in good working condition for the spring, summer, and fall. It's going to get a lot of playtime.

Well, I really should take a nap. The Great Birthday Bird is supposedly coming early tomorrow morning and so I need to catch up on my rest. Good-nap for now. When you see me here tomorrow, I'll be a big one-year-old.

If You're Happy... Clap Your Feet

Mommy taught me how to clap my feet.  Specifically, I learned to do it by observing Mommy.  When she's watching TV and both of her hands are busy, one hand holding the phone to her ear to talk and the other hand sending text messages, she will clap with her feet if she finds the show she's watching to be amusing.  Mommy is also teaching me how to speak like a monkey and to repeat how the last little piggy goes all the way home.  Unfortunately, the camera crew has yet to capture this on tape.  Stay tuned.

There's only two days before my birthday and I have to admit there's not much going on.  It's kind of like the quiet before the birthday storm.  I still have yet to figure out what's going to happen on my special day.  You know, as in, what I should expect.  Luckily, Aunt Bethy and Uncle C. sent me a book titled, Happy Birthday To You! (Party Edition), by Dr. Seuss.  I'm a big fan of Dr. Seuss' work.  I haven't read the entire book yet, but I'm getting an idea of what's to happen on my birthday.  First, the Great Birthday Bird from Katroo comes to pick me up.  Apparently, he's in charge of the whole affair.  Once he wakes me up in the morning and I've had a snack we'll head "out of town on a Smorgasbord's back."  Additionally, the Great Birthday Bird will tell me that my birthday is my day, that no one can tell me 'no,' that I don't have to be clean, and I can eat with both hands and feet.  In other words, it'll be a typical day.  Then, we'll hang out with some Funicular Goats, Who-Bubs, fifty Hippo-Heimers, and others that I can't begin to understand who and what they are.  I do know one thing, however, and that is that the Census workers are going to have their work cut out for them when trying to account for these people.  I'll read the rest tonight with Mommy.  Thanks Aunt Bethy and Uncle C. for helping me clear some things up even though I think I'm a little more confused than I was.  Perhaps I'll understand once I finish the book.  Thanks again.  And yes, Uncle C., I'll be sure to "Keep Ballin'."

Great Expectations

Happy Monday!  My birthday is in a few days and I'm getting very excited.  I'm also getting a little nervous.  Two parties, or "events," are planned to celebrate me.  Hundreds of people from thousands of miles away (that may be a slight exaggeration) will gather to watch me, the birthday boy, and expect that I do tricks, dance, sing songs, and smile every time they put the camera in front of my face.  I do not wish to disappoint and I'll try my best to entertain.  My fans are wondering when I will take my first steps.  Look... I might be able to walk now and I might not.  Regardless, I'm not that interested in walking right now.  I get around just find by clinging and "cruising" on furniture.  I'm also a very proficient crawler.  Heck, I'm the fastest crawler this side of the Mississippi.  Please keep in mind that most babies don't start walking until 14 months.  I know what you're thinking.  Some of you are saying to yourself, 'My sweet baby child's were running at six months!  What's wrong with this kid?'  You also may think I'm advanced and should be walking because of some of the things that I demonstrate on this blog.  The fact that I've been using special speech recognition software and bloggin' on my own since I was three-months-old should be enough!  But, it's never enough.  Pardon the pun, but let's take this one step at a time.  I'll be walking and therefore terrorizing the house and causing harm to myself before you know it.  So relax.  Now, would you like a banana?

You're sure?  I squashed it with my hands and mouth myself.  Fine... now there's more for me.

I'd love to stay and add more to this posting but I have to run (figuratively speaking of course).  Mommy has a lot of planning to do for my parties and has asked me to "work up a spreadsheet" for her in order to help her stay organized.

What's going on with this thing?  Blasted ergonomic keyboard!  Wait... this computer isn't even turned on!  Forget it- I'm taking a nap.

Matthew-In-The-Box

Congratulations and thank you to Cousins Delivered, Muscles, and Payton for being the first to get a birthday gift to me. They mailed me a "birthday box" full of loot because they can't come to my party. Cousin Payton is probably going on some baby modeling tour or something. Anyway, Mommy and Daddy let me open the box even though it's not my birthday. My cousins sent me, among other awesome things, a singing Elmo card that makes me smile and dance and the shamrock headgear you see in the picture above. I'd especially like to thank my cousins for all the shamrock confetti that was inside the box and then all over the floor and under the furniture. That should keep Mommy, Daddy and the vacuum busy for about a month. I wonder how the confetti would interact with a baby's digestive system. I bet they taste minty. Were they made in China?

I also received another box with a gift inside last night. The friends who sent it don't read the blog so no blog thank you is necessary. This was a big box, much bigger than its contents. I can't even remember what was inside. The box, however, will act as host to hours of fun.

This morning, like every morning, I sat down to break my nighttime fast. But, this breakfast was served differently. My personal chef made a smiley face with my food and put it on, get this, a plate! I've been waiting a long time for this. The Cleanup Crew (Onyx) was licking his chops.

I hope you had a wonderful birthday yesterday, Greatest. We tried to call you last night but we couldn't get through. You must be very popular. We love you and Happy Birthday!

Have a great weekend!

Keeping Up Appearances

My publicist has a couple big appearances scheduled for me this afternoon.  First, I'll hit up story time and then it's over to a friend's house for playgroup.  If you've been following my posts the last few days, you may have noticed that my clothing selections for each day were questionable, incomplete, or altogether missing.  Fortunately, Mommy dressed me this morning and I'm back to my old dapper self.  I couldn't show up to story time or playgroup only partially wearing clothes.  That, and though it's probably the unofficial request, I certainly can't show up naked.  Even if I wanted to I don't think I'd be able to fight off the girls and I've got to to protect my "equipment."

I asked Daddy to be my driver today.  He said he'd do it but I had to make sure he wasn't too sick.  I gave him my serious face asking, "You sure Daddy?  I don't want a whining wimp driving me around all day."  He knows not to mess with me.  Just look at how serious I can get when questioning someone:

Then I figured I could just leave him in the car or I could drive myself in my rough and rugged John Deere ATV.  Either way is cool with me.

So how do I look?

You are right- I look great... except for the hair.  It's always something.  I'll have to flatten the hair that's sticking out by laying on it during my morning nap.  On the other hand, I can just wear a hat like the one I wore yesterday.

You are right again!  I look great no matter what I'm wearing.  Thanks for helping me out.

Have a splendid Thursday.