Friday, May 28, 2010

PFD

Before spaghetti:

During spaghetti:

Am I naked in my highchair?  Maybe... maybe not.  To my possible future siblings: I got here first and everyone will know that the highchair was originally mine.  So... sit on that!

In other news, now that I'm swimming in water, Mommy is requiring that I wear a Personal Flotation Device (PFD).  She says that I have to "wear it at all times just in case."  Just in case what?  Is water going to jump out at me when I'm inside the house?  I don't think so.  In fact, I attack water, such as the water in Onyx's bowl.  Sure, some of the water from the bowl ends up on me but most of it is strewn around the kitchen floor.  I could slip I guess, but the PFD is not going to save me from that.  I don't see what the big deal is.  The PFD is quite a drag when I'm hanging around the house and playing.  Oh well, Mommy's in charge.   And as she always says to Daddy and I, "Don't question me- just do."  She's sooooo like that.


Mommy and I have the day off from our respective jobs on Monday.  Therefore, I'll see you Tuesday.  Until then, play it safe and put on your own PFD, and then...

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Turtle Swimming Pool


This is I in my new luxurious turtle swimming pool.  Yesterday was so hot that this kind turtle was nice enough to let me swim underneath his shell and in his water compartment.  The water was cool and refreshing.  Here are a few clips of my delightful swim.


If you're also feeling hot, I suggest going to your local Wal-Mart and picking up one of these slightly over-priced turtles.  Once in place, you'll be ready to put on your swim diaper, grab your favorite toy (mine is a metal bowl), and jump on in.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Big Boy Eating


For the past few weeks, I have not fully kept up with my routine of eating healthy foods.  If you cut up some fruits or vegetables and put them in front of me, they'll typically end up on the floor.  Don't get me wrong, I still like these fruits.  I don't complain when they're blended in something like yogurt.  However, I'd like to eat them like an adult.  Mommy and Daddy don't cut up everything in tiny little pieces before they eat them.  They only do that for me and I don't always like it- it kind of depends on my mood.  My problem was trying to communicate this to them.  I failed in doing this and now I don't even know why I bother sometimes.  Finally, yesterday Daddy was about to cut up a strawberry for me when he said, "You're not going to eat this are you?  Here, you can have the whole thing.  Do what you want with it."  He handed me the whole strawberry and guess what: I ate the entire thing.  I took reasonable bites and then one gigantic bite to finish it.  Was this so difficult to understand Mommy and Daddy?  No.  Is this a potential choking hazard?  Possibly.  Is this big boy eating?  Yes.


Later I tried a banana.  I'm actually a huge fan of bananas but haven't eaten them in over a month.  That's because I wanted to hold the entire thing, peel and all.  Daddy again came to his senses, peeled only the top part, and gave me the entire thing.  I ate half of the banana and nothing went on the floor.


I still have to learn some things about eating fruit.  Lesson number one: do not eat the other side of the banana while the peel is still on.  It doesn't taste very good and the tongue does not enjoy the texture.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Heigh-Ho

Heigh-Ho is my new favorite song.  I get so pumped hearing it that I run around in circles and sometimes I fall on the ground and dance.


According to Wikipedia, the always-accurate information beacon and educational leader of this and my coming generations, "Heigh-Ho" is spelled correctly.  It's not "Hi-Ho."  I just thought you would probably need to know this at some point in your life.  Anyway, I love to sing the chorus line and Mommy says I sound "so cute" when I say, "heigh-ho."  I'd let you hear it, but again I'm not playing to the video camera.  I sang the chorus before and after (and not during) the tape was rolling, much to the frustration of the director.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Playing Dumb

Sure, I think I'm pretty smart.  At least Mommy tells me that I am.  Lately I've been working on pointing to different body parts.  I can identify my mouth, teeth and belly to a 98% accuracy and my nose, ears and hair to a 90% accuracy.  I'd show you what I mean but I don't feel like it.  That's because I'm getting a little tired of that video camera.   It's rare that you'll see me without also seeing a video or still camera turned on and focused on me.  Wherever I go, they seem to follow.  It's getting annoying.  I have to admit that the cameras were quite a novelty for the first year or so of my life but now the thrill is not always there.  However, I realize that the cameramen are not going to go away.  Instead, I'll just have to have fun my own way and at the expense of the cameras.  Here's what I mean (taken during dinner last night):


Did you see that?  Please tell me I'm funny (Mommy requests that of Daddy all the time).  Instead of pointing to my nose, which I had just done before the camera was turned on, I acted as if I was saying, "Nose?  What's a nose?"  I am funny.

Oh, and before I forget-

Happy Birthday Cousin Marcy!  I'm wearing my infamous but censored birthday suit for you.  Here, have a ball!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Superman's Weekend Off


Even Superman needs a break sometimes.  He can't always be fighting crime and saving the world.  Just picture this:  He comes home late some Friday night after a long week of busting the evil geniuses of the world.  He's so tired, and even though he's Superman, he manages to remove only his pants before flopping in his bed.  He wakes up the next morning refreshed and pants-less, but he's way behind in his household chores, his dog needs some attention, and he just needs some "me" playtime with his toy gorilla and to play some ball.  And yes, the theme music follows him everywhere.


I think I know how he feels.  I need one more weekend like this.

I hope you find your own catch up and "me" time so that you too can...

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Taco, Taco Man


Hola muchachos!  Me llamo Mateo.  I'm learning to speak Spanish after eating my first taco.  I thoroughly enjoyed it and look forward to mucho mas.  It was a muy messy experience, but I don't have to clean anything up so I'm okay with it.  It's nice being young like me because there's always a totally nueva experiencia (and in this case, food) right around the corner.


Hasta mañana!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Tetherball


Note to future self: Hi, Matthew, it is I, Matthew. I am the younger you. I'm assuming the Internet didn't burn down or anything. I guess you wouldn't be reading this if it did. Anyway, if you're looking back years from now and are a sports star with quick reflexes and fast hands then you probably have this contraption to thank. Otherwise, you may still be a little dizzy and have a small amount of resentment towards Daddy (you probably refer to him as 'Dad' now) and his "It's never too early to start his training" thing. In addition, in case you can't remember why you were getting up so slowly, it's because you had a "live" load in your diaper. I hope you are doing well. That is all for now.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

"Ba-Ooo"

It was Spring-cleaning time in my household this past weekend.  In other words, it was time for Mommy to go through her piles of stuff and for Daddy to rearrange the furniture in order to find and capture the clumped dog hair that throughout the year was inadvertently swept underneath and into every single unexposed portion of the house.  I helped Daddy vacuum, or "ba-ooo," as I like to say.  Mommy said I looked like Daddy's Mini-Me.  He sure likes to vacuum and I can see why.  It makes a wonderfully loud noise and it has a special power over Onyx and his hair.


Onyx doesn't do much to help but at least he respects the vacuum and keeps a certain distance from it.  Maybe someday I can run the electrical vacuum myself.  In the meantime, I'm perfectly content with my old school popper ba-ooo.

Monday, May 17, 2010

My Manhood


Well what do you know... not only can I feel, but also I can actually see him now.  So that's what I've been yanking on these past few months.  Well, there's nothing better to do now than to relieve myself onto the carpet.

Have a wonderful day!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Leash Laws


Is this okay?  What I mean is, can Daddy just tie me to a dog lead while he goes inside to eat a snack or take a nap?  Seriously, I don't know what the answer is on this one.  In some way I feel this is a bit cruel.  Onyx isn't even a big fan of his line and he's a dog.  Then again, it's a great way to get some fresh air and it keeps me from running out into traffic and stuff.  Still, there must be at least one violation going on here.  Mommy, did you know about this?  I think all your hidden spy cameras are inside, aren't they.  Is this something I can Google: child leash laws?  Think about it: I'm strapped to a highchair and car seat and kept behind bars when I'm sleeping.  That's why I feel that maybe Daddy isn't breaking any laws per se.  He's only breaking good daddy etiquette.  Perhaps someone should contact the authorities.  Let me know if they say that it's okay to leave your child tied up like the common dog.  Then after you make the call...

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mall Rat


Yesterday morning was cold and rainy so Daddy took me to the mall to get some exercise.  This was the first time I was allowed to get out of my stroller and roam around on my own.  I wasn't allowed to get out before I started walking because Mommy and Daddy thought I'd crawl around and lick the dirty floors.  They were probably right.  Things are different now, though, and I can really strut my stuff.  If the weather is giving you the blues, I recommend taking a stroll at your local mall.  I enjoyed walking around with the senior citizens of the community.  They were impressed with my abilities and watched me shake my head "no" and walk in the opposite direction as Daddy attempted to coax me to keep up with him.  I managed to walk almost the entire length of the mall and back.  If I include my attempt to visit every store along the way (twice) then this is certainly the longest walk I've ever had.  Also there for my enjoyment were kiddy rides that included a play car and fire truck.  They had flashing lights and steering wheels.  What more could I ask for?  There was also a real CAT tractor parked in the middle of the mall.  I tried to loosen the nuts to take the wheels off but I had forgotten my tools.  Best of all, I was allowed to repeatedly yell "da!" at the top of my lungs without being shushed.  Instead, everyone smiled at me and told me how cute I was.  I'd yell "da!" in return, acknowledging what I already knew.  It was quite an adventure and a great way to stretch out my legs.  Needless to say, I had a very nice and long afternoon nap.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Self-Sufficient

I'm starting to get good at doing things for myself.  I realize now that if you want something done right and ASAP then you had better do it yourself.  How am I learning such a valuable life lesson at such a young age?  If you want an answer then have my daddy and Onyx take care of you for a day.  Communicating a need to them is like pushing teeth through gum tissue.  It's a slow and painful process.  That reminds me- I am now the proud owner of an exposed gigantic molar (and I thought my other teeth hurt a lot coming in).  Anyway, if I want to feed myself and do it my way then I have to be proficient with a spoon.  Proficiency obtained?  Check.


Sure, I'm a mess with the spoon but I get the job done.  My tummy is full and I really don't care if I am cleaned up or not (although oatmeal up the nostril makes it a little difficult to breathe).  Okay, now I'm ready to go outside and play.  Daddy, you and Onyx can stay inside if you like.  I can find my own way out.  I better put my shoes on first.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fourteen Months

 

Who is back by popular demand?  Me, Matthew.  It's been a few weeks since I've posted to my blog, but as you can see from the picture above I have grown and now carry myself in a more mature and serious manner.  It's time to let my gentleman-like poses illustrate my new keen and astute approach to the world. 
 

So what's new in your life?... yeah, yeah, sounds great.  It's back to me again.  My vacation was wonderful and it offered a great chance to sit back and relax.  However, I did not take the vacation up on that offer and I'm still worn out from all the fun I had.  I was a very happy camper at the beach.


I've been walking a lot more lately.  It is now my primary means of transportation.  Walking on the sand at the beach was a great challenge, but I eventually got the hang of it.


The biggest news from my time off comes from yesterday.  I have a new baby cousin!  Lydia is my newest first cousin.  That makes eight of us, one shy of fielding a first cousin starting lineup.

I have yet to decide when and how often I'll post to this blog.  I'll probably post anywhere from daily to once a year.  I'll be sure to keep you "posted."  Hah!  Get it?  Okay, bye now.