A Little Privacy, Please

A few weeks ago, I requested permission to utilize the toilet by pointing to it and saying, "I pee." Since then I have spent what seems like countless minutes on the pot without any real noticeable production. I have to admit that it is a little difficult to do your business with two parents eagerly anticipating and sticking their faces in close and asking, "anything yet?" Then there is the whole stage fright factor causing me to keep my external urethral orifice closed while in the presence of the paparazzi.

The potty I am using is quite comfortable. It modifies the toilet seat to accommodate smaller posteriors such as mine. There is also an adapter for boys that helps to reduce the effects of poor aim called a 'Deflector Shield' (no joke). The creators of this potty must have been Trekkies or big Star Wars fans. Anyway, I think it is time for me, Captain Matthew, to have another round of practice: Set course for relief. Tushy in place. Deflector shield up... Engage!