Getting Stuck

Despite the fact that I'm increasingly mobile every day, I still find myself getting into strange predicaments.

Dance Machine

My fans have been wondering (and demanding)- where is Matthew?  The answer to that is that I'm in the same place I always am.  I'm a little sorry that I haven't been posting much, but I have to admit that it feels good to be wanted.  Besides, I've been too busy dancing to be on the computer and posting to the blog.

My Nanna taught me to dance like this.  It must be the way people danced way back when.

Fifteen Months

How big am I?  I am 15 months big.  To celebrate my big day, I jumped and splashed in a puddle.  It was awesome.  I definitely recommend it.  You don't even need it to rain to get a puddle.  All you need is a hose.  I suggest that you try it.  You can even sit in it afterwards and get your posterior really muddy.

Have a great weekend!

Let Me Tell You a Story

This story is about whatever you interpret it as. I feel I've contributed more of an artistic impression in allowing you to do this. You're welcome. I hope you enjoyed it.

Facing Forward

Captain's Log, Stardate 06042010.  Starfleet has installed a forward facing captain's chair on the bridge.  It was quite challenging navigating through space (and the roads) while facing the rear of the ship.  My new vantage point also allows me to keep better tabs on my staff sitting in front of me.  Fulfilling size requirements continues to have its advantages.

Facing forward... the final frontier.  These will be the voyages of the starship Matthewprise.  It's continuing mission: to explore new parks, playgrounds and sandboxes, to seek out new and strange but familiar people in different cities and states, to boldly (and exhaustingly) drive throughout the northeastern United States at a rate no toddler has traveled before.

Have a great weekend!

It is 9:34 PM. Do You Know Why Your One-Year-Old Is Not Sleeping?

It's 9:34 PM on Wednesday night and I'm still awake and writing this blog for tomorrow (which is today for you).  You may have to pretend that you've traveled into the not too distant past.  Confused?  Me too.  It's difficult to keep things straight when you're tired but all wound up.  Do you know why I'm not sleeping?  It's because I am super-pumped to tell you what a cow says:

That's right, a cow says, "moo," and sometimes, "boo."  I have also started singing the chorus to Old MacDonald Had a Farm, but I'm still not video camera ready.  You know it, it's "Ee i ee i oh."  I've learned to say what a cow says thanks to the daily reinforcement of my parents and the one or two cow toys that I own (make that at least 7 cow toys, not including my two music CD's with the Old MacDonald song, and my bovine language tapes that I listen to while falling asleep).

Speaking of falling asleep, it's now 9:44 PM and I should probably be headed to bed for the third time since 8:00.  Mommy, shall we try this again?  I think I like this game.  Maybe I'll have an "oink-oink" ready for tomorrow night's (which is your tonight) bedtime.

This Is How I Will Roll

Here I am with a new toy car that I received yesterday.  I had fun playing with it until it went all possessed and berserk on me.  Daddy turned the car on and placed it and me on the driveway.  Every time I approached it or tried to pick it up, it moved.  It moved either forwards or in circles.  Regardless, I could not catch it.  It would drive away, turn around, and then drive full force toward me and run into my foot.  It was as if the car was being controlled remotely from an unidentified location.  For a brief period, I'm sure this whole scene was quite comical from the onlookers' perspective.  I would show you the video, but the videographer thought he was recording when he wasn't, and wasn't recording when he thought he was.  There are now two useless results: a video recording of the ground and a newly unemployed videographer.  I'm sorry but my patience runs thin with my production crew.  Anyway, it didn't take long for this car to freak me out.  I had to run into Daddy's arms so that I could get away from it.  How would you like it if you tried to get into your car and it just drove away, turned around, and then started chasing you?  That's what I thought.  As Daddy picked me up, I thought I noticed a small electronic device with an antenna attached inside his pocket.  Then again, as fear took a hold on me, I could have been seeing things.  It was probably just his cell phone.

News Flash: I am officially announcing my retirement from the daily weekday blog community, effective this Friday.  As I am considered the Michael Jordan and Brett Favre of the blogosphere, I too will probably un-retire and bring back my greatness at some point or another.  Instead of doing it daily, I will probably post 2-3 days a week.  Some weeks there may be more and some there may be less.  Postings on weekend days are now more likely.  Frequency and the content (words, pictures, video) of postings remain difficult to predict right now.  I will do my best to keep you up-to-date with my wonderfully fascinating life.  So why am I leaving the daily blog scene?  Well, I feel like I need some time off to spend with my family.  I also may star in some Hollywood movies and perhaps make some guest TV appearances.  I'd also like to spend less effort in relaxing and working on the computer so that I have more time to get into things that I'm not supposed to.  For instance, the tops of tables have a bounty of "keep away from toddlers" stuff and are getting closer to my reach every day.  Another reason I will likely be unable to keep up with daily postings is that I won't be home too much.  Beginning this coming Monday, Daddy will be spending his days at the casino, horse track, dog track, or our local OTB.  He hopes to make it big so that he may provide for Mommy and me.  Good luck, Daddy- you're going to need it.  Moreover, since Onyx has yet to pass his babysitters course, I will be spending my time outside our home.  This summer I'll be under Little Cousin Wade's supervision.  Starting this fall, Julie the "Daycare Giver to the Stars," will watch me on a full-time basis.  She is awesome and I can't wait to have some fun at her place.

So there you have it.  You now know how I will roll.  I hope I haven't spoiled you with this daily thing.  If you're that desperate and you miss me on some of these days you can always go back into the archives and start over.  There will be over 240 posts (almost a year's worth) for you to enjoy.  Either that, or you can send me lots of money and I will do these posts as you please.

I'll see you tomorrow.  Enjoy your Wednesday.

False Allegations

I gave my photographer most of the weekend off so I don't have too many pictures that capture what an awesome weekend I had.  Mommy and Daddy took me to my great aunt and uncle's lake house, located in a new-to-me state.  I hung out with some of my "big" cousins and Cousin Payton.  See for yourself how happy I was while enjoying breakfast and a view of the big lake.

But, I didn't only view the lake- I commandeered a boat on it.  You may now refer to me as Captain Matthew from now on.

Having so much fun does takes its toll, but there's nothing like taking a little snooze while breathing in the fresh air to rejuvenate oneself.  This was a wonderful nap.

I did sleep okay this past weekend (as far as me sleeping on the road is concerned), but I'm still rather tired today.  Don't worry about me- I'll be okay.  Oh, and before I forget: you may hear some silly stories from the press concerning my family and me from this past weekend.  I can assure you that these stories are not true and/or they are taken way out of context.  They include, but are not limited to, me scratching Cousin Payton making her cry and Daddy biting Cousin Payton's finger making her cry again.  These outrageous accusations simply aren't true.  One story you may hear is true, and that is the one about Daddy attempting to water-ski and being dragged around the lake by the boat.  I witnessed the entire thing and clapped my hands when he resurfaced.  I won't get into to details but his ankles are quite swollen and he is a little slow afoot right now.  I look forward to taking advantage of my daytime caretaker's lameness this week.  Catch me if you can, Daddy.