It's Not Too Early

The other day I was at a department store and noticed something very peculiar. An entire section of the store was devoted to a special theme of flickering lights, red and green colors, indoor trees, and suggestions for a "wish list." Then yesterday, after my awesome 2-1/2 hour late afternoon nap, I saw that Mommy was looking through a catalog that had the same theme that the department store did. Apparently, she was preparing her wish list for this thing called, "Christmas." I don't know what this Christmas thing is exactly, but I think I'm going to like it. I started my own wish list. The first item: all I want for Christmas, and this is not a joke, is my two front teeth. Really, any teeth will do. We don't want the doc to say (again) at my next appointment, "he still doesn't have his teeth yet?" Back to my short but very well thought out list: a high definition television so I can enjoy watching Mommy watch her prime time network television smut. A jet plane would also be cool so we can get to our various weekend destinations more quickly. That way I could spend less time in my car seat and more time working on this list. The list will keep growing with items such as a magic crawling outfit, a baby talk-to-English converter, and some sort of mechanism that helps me utilize my diaper more effectively and without all the breath-holding and grunting. Then again, you could probably wrap a rock for me and I'll enjoy it all the same because of my affinity for wrapping paper. Perhaps we should save some of these items and toys for a future Christmas, particularly during a year when we have more room in our house. But where's the fun in that? I still have a few years before I'll understand any potential true meaning for this gift-giving day. So please: give me, give me, give me.

To my multitude of fans out there: it's not too early to begin shopping for me. There are plenty of things out there that I'll accept. I've got my loot stocking and I'm ready to receive. Please form a line. No pushing. Don't worry, you'll all get your turn to give me gifts. And no, the 's' at the end of gift was not a typo.