BLIZZARCANE!

That's right!  You had better stock up on diapers and curl up with your big stuffed bear for warmth because a hurricane-like blizzard is coming to town. It's coming to where I live, in the city of Hometown in the state of Northeast (you thought I might disclose where I live, opening the door to a blizzard of fans and media, did you not?)  Anyway, "they" are calling for 70 mile per hour wind gusts.  That's 112 kilometers an hour!  Not even my chunky thighs could anchor me down and keep me from blowing away.  We have snow on the ground already and have a possible 18 inches more on the way.  I'm not tall or heavy enough.  I had better stay inside.  First, Daddy and I are heading to the store to get some provisions in case we lose power and are stranded in our house.  Our list includes bottled water, formula, dynamite, graham crackers, and sugary, fatty snacks for Mommy in order to keep her active and warm.  I'm still getting over a cold but I'll be prepared.  My cold has transitioned to the slurping, lip-smacking consumption of whatever is constantly running out my nose.  Other than that, I'm feeling better and ready to signal when and from where when the snow starts falling.

I can't see!  I plan to keep a lookout but the window is too high.  Darn these blasted short legs!